This past week involved a visit to my hometown. It has been sicks months (gasp!). Most things look the same. There are a few changes, the most significant being surgery to North Rd, which has produced in my opinion a confusing eyeful of circular scars that are a pain in the neck. Add to that a makeover for Lockyer Avenue. The new look for the foreshore is making progress. The big roundabout grassy plants need a round of fertiliser or at least some eyebrow plucking. Apparently the nosey neighbours still know everything about everyone. The people are just as bad at driving, and still can’t use their indicators properly- perhaps increasing frustration in the face of slow speed limits, and annoyance at cheeky road users, are to blame. Or some people should err on the opposite side of caution and use their muscles more often. The foundation for a renovated Maccas has been discussed, and the people there still want me back. Regular Dylans patrons continue to brace for stomach-turning deliciousness. Ladies fashion must be the latest hip as BNT replaced Ed Harrys in the shopping complex. The bank staff have no more excuses for acting like accessorised chickens since Chooks closed; and by winging it, Baker’s Delight showed they only kneeded a break after elbowing their way into the Plaza. The library received a lick of paint although the side pillars missed out on a new coating of fuchsia lipstick. Locals have their fingers crossed at the prospect of two toy sales in coming weeks, and Officeworks has upgraded its likeability by selling take-out coffees. Small businesses continue to suffer sore blows as the larger cream-of-the-crop companies continue to bare their teeth. A final nail polished off the coffin of a dreamy, country town when the local paper publipped some jaw-dropping statistics about the many awards the new entertainment centre received, despite costing the city what my mother would refer to as ‘an arm and a leg’. Eye suppose Albany will just have to toe the line.
Excuse the pun. I say it all with tongue in cheek.
P.S. How many references to body parts/beauty can you find in this post? :P
I've counted 25 - not sure how many of the references to illness are also included in that count though.
ReplyDeleteVery very punny. Good yoke's - although I shouldn't really egg you on.
you still have the same talent after all these years my friend. your friend schlorophylus will be proud :)(he wouldn't be proud of me, because I have forgotten how to spell his name!)
ReplyDeleteCamille, you crack me up! I fried to make a better comment but my brain's too scrambled. I'll try to be bac on here tomorrow to add more salt to the wound.
ReplyDeleteCarlien, although I'm not sure I would call it a talent, I appreciate your efforts to include schlerophyllous (I don't think I can remember how to spell his name either) and must admit my deepest fears of forgetting him... I just may need to pull some letters out of my cupboard... :)