Humbled.

Today was a very humbling day. It started with a rush to get to the train on time. It ended with an extremely long and delayed train ride home. I guess my whole day was a bit of a train ride.
The first jolt came with an email from my tutor- I needed to see her asap about an assignment because it needs to be resubmitted. That got me nervous. Turns out the nerves weren't for nothing- I have a lot of work to do. I have to rewrite an entire assignment just to make a pathetic 14/40 into a lousy 15/40. When I went to her office I was a nervous wreck. I came out an emotional wreck that had been blown into pieces. But at least she was kind enough to talk to me and give me lots of guidance, rather than just fail me and leave it like that. This experience made me think a lot.

I tend to think (at least before today) that I've never really failed before- false, I fail every day, I fail to please God and do His will, I fail to live up to His Name, I fail to obey His commandments, and I fail to fulfill all my obligations. It's pretty humbling to know that I thought I could pass everything- and yet I constantly fail in what means the most in life to me.

I'd like to think I put in every effort to complete this assignment and it was my best work- false, I didn't use my time or talents to the best of my ability. It's pretty humbling to realise that I thought I did 'good enough'- and yet aiming for 'good enough' just isn't good enough- because God wants our all.

How often do we reach out to someone who's 'failed' in life, or who's 'failed' to live up to our expectations? How often do we leave them with their failings? It's pretty humbling to know that my tutor was kind enough to 'rescue' me from that pit and put me back on track, and even offer me a 75 for the unit.
But it's even more humbling to know that God was willing to rescue me from all my failures, those personally against Himself, those which I commit day after day. Thankfully I don't have to write a perfect assignment, because I can't. And He didn't just offer an extra week, or another go, He did it Himself- Christ bore hellish agony so I can be saved. Every time I fall into that pit of failure, He takes me out and puts me on the road to life again. How amazing that such negativity can turn into positive rejoicing because of the One who I fail the most.

The rest of my day? The train ride continued. And this post was hard enough to write, so I'll stop there.

Today I was humbled. Even that's pretty hard to take in sometimes. But God will work it to my good as He has promised. I pray that it will be a lesson for me, and that I may continue to glorify Him in everything.